


not in that fucking way

by fallingmin



Category: GOT7
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, M/M, Panic Attacks, Unrequited Love, and he's not in the best mindset, jaebum comes to mark really late at night, okay so basically
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 06:56:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7674493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fallingmin/pseuds/fallingmin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>jaebum knows that he's grasping at absolutely nothing but jaebum also doesn't make the smartest choices.</p>
            </blockquote>





	not in that fucking way

**Author's Note:**

> insp. 'not in that way' by sam smith
> 
> for avery

“jae? it's two in the morning, what are you-” mark’s sentence comes to an abrupt end when jaebum plows into him. the two of them fall to the ground with a loud thud.

jaebum wraps his arms around mark tight enough that he knows it hurts and shoves his face against the warm skin of mark’s neck. he tries to draw in a breath but he can hear himself gasping. god, he's shaking and-and crying? yeah, he's pretty sure he's crying.

all of those sleepless nights and missed meals must be catching up to him. jaebum hadn't thought anything of it until now, until he was a fucking wreck and banging on mark’s door at two in the fucking morning.

“hey.” mark’s quiet voice floods through the haze of panic. jaebum clutches mark’s shirt in his hands, physically trying to steady himself but failing. “hey, breathe with me. like this, yeah?”

and then there's a gentle pressure prying his hands open and pressing them against mark’s chest. jaebum focuses on the slow rhythm of mark’s breathing.

“there we go,” mark murmurs. “that's right, jaebum, nice and slow. good job, you're doing so well.”

jaebum can hear his hyperventilating stop after a while and the shaking calms to a subtle tremor.

now that he's a little more aware, he notices the way one of mark’s hands has slid into his hair and how the other one is still holding his.

he also notices someone else in now in the room.

“mark? is that jaebum?” youngjae’s voice cuts through the silence and jaebum can feel his chest tighten again. he makes a wounded sound and pushes his face even further against mark’s neck. mark hushes him soothingly and rubs a hand along his back.

good. god, that feels good. mark’s hand is big and warm and gentle and it's making jaebum’s hurt go away a little. jaebum lets himself go in the sensation and tries to keep his panic from bubbling over. he knows he's failing when hot tears run down his cheeks.

“yeah,” he hears mark whisper. “i think i’m gonna stay here for awhile, babe. go back to bed.”

jaebum hears youngjae mumble something back and go back to his- _their_. he hears youngjae stumble back to _their_ room. he can feel mark’s eyes on him and presses himself closer.

“no talking.” he mutters. “i don't want to talk. not tonight.” he feels mark’s sigh more than he hears it.

“whatever you want, jae.” and it takes everything jaebum has to not read into the underlying concern in mark’s voice, the fondness and care there.

shit. _shit_. jaebum finally realizes that crashing at mark’s house with absolutely no sleep was possibly the worst idea he's ever had. he almost wants to laugh. it figures that he would literally run into the very cause of his problems and then physically tangle himself up in it. in _him_.

god, he's so pathetic, isn't he? he's holding onto nothing. there's absolutely nothing that would give him hope, give him a chance. mark’s _taken_. he has been for the past three years, what had jaebum even thought would change? mark has always loved too hard to see anything else and jaebum wasn't heartless enough to rip away mark’s happiness (and that's what youngjae was. mark’s _happiness_ ).

“i’m here for you, jae.” mark murmurs into his hair. jaebum drags himself out of his head and makes a sound that he hopes sounds grateful.

“it's just that i can't even take care of you, not how you deserve. i just wish you would tell me what's wrong.” and fuck. fuck, fuck, _fuck_. mark sounds mad. jaebum reels back and finds himself speechless when he sees tears in mark’s eyes. those eyes widen when mark sees the horror that must be painted on jaebum's face.

“i’m not angry,” mark scrambles to say and jaebum's breathing immediately settles down again. mark’s eyes are wild and the look on his face is painfully vulnerable. mark’s hands hold jaebum just a little bit tighter, like that would keep the other boy from running away. (like jaebum would ever run. not when he's surrounded by _warmth_ and _safety_ and _acceptance_ ). “shit-never. i’d never be angry at you for this, jae. i promise.”

mark’s breathing is heavy after that and jaebum can't do more that stare silently. words race through jaebum's head but there's too many and they wouldn't even make sense so he doesn't try to say them.

and then mark guides jaebum's head back into that little crook between his neck and shoulder and curls around him. jaebum tenses but then relaxes, practically melting against mark’s warm body. they stay like that, rocking from side to side a little.

“no talking,” mark echoes back. “you're right. i don't think tonight's a time for talking.”

that doesn't stop jaebum from mouthing everything he can't say against mark’s neck, tasting salt on his lips.

  
_i love you. i love you so so much and you love me too. just not in the right fucking way._

**Author's Note:**

> god my first got7 fic is this-


End file.
